AHHHHHHHH! Weddings are times of big change, big parties, big expectations, and generally big house and farm projects that you've been putting off for years but want to get done before cousin Ira comes. The last time cousin Ira was here was 20 years ago and you'd hate for her to see the same unfinished projects she saw the last time she was here. Goodness knows, she'll let you know.
All in all, a great opportunity to take out your aggression and frustration on a tree. If you are considering this drastic step here are a few pointers:
1. Choose a tree with softer bark like elm or boxelder. Feel free to choose another species.
2. Avoid trees with harder bark, like oak. If oak is all you have, a helmet may be appropriate.
3. Avoid trees with sap or sticky resin, like pine, your hair will thank you.
So whether you are a bride or a bridesmaid, a mother or father of the groom, or the twin of the bride or groom, and beating your skull against a tree isn't really your thing, how do you cope?
I have no idea.
But here are some things I'm going to try.
1. Take care of yourself. It's very hard to make this a priority. Your body and mind are gifts and your soul a treasure. Think about the basic needs of the human body and do your best to meet them. What does your body need? What does your mind need? What does your soul need? *hint: it's probably not that pound of chocolate you stashed in your sock drawer*
2. With change hovering and a new adventure looming on the horizon, turn to the One who never changes. Make a commitment to spend time with God in prayer, adoration, church, and/or Bible reading, etc. Let that be your rock.
3. Turn off your phone and disconnect from social media. You've got enough to worry about. If turning off your phone is too radical, you could try turning off notifications, especially texts and emails.
4. Stare at the flowers. I know, kind of weird idea, but I'm an herbalist. Did you really think I could make it through an entire blog post without bringing up plants? Flowers tend to play a big role in weddings. They are festive, beautiful, and yet quiet reminders of the Creator. So, take a hint from the flowers and savor the day! With all the activity surrounding a wedding, take one minute to stop and smell the roses (both literally and figuratively). I could go on and on about the aromatherapy benefits of smelling the flowers, but that's another post.
5. Traveling for the wedding? Bring an herbal first aid kit filled with your favorite tea and other things that may help ease the travel and lower your stress. I generally have chamomile tea, lavender essential oil, ginger, Emergen-C or Airborne in my herbal kit. Think about what you would need to make travel and long fun-filled days easier.
Here's link to get you started: https://learningherbs.com/remedies-recipes/herbal-travel-first-aid-kit/
6. Give yourself time, compassion, and the permission to feel whatever you may be feeling. As the twin of the groom, this is still a work in progress for me. I will be the first to say that change is hard and the feelings that come with it are annoying, over-the-top, and sometimes painful. Sometime you just need to sit, pray through feelings and let them go. Stuffing feelings deeper never seems to work.
7. Be reverent. With my twin getting married in just a few weeks, I've heard lots of wedding talk. In figuring out details for the big day, my dad offered a great piece of perspective. In the midst of a 12 hour (or longer!) day, the wedding ceremony may only last 45 minutes, a small sliver of time. Intentionally make this 45 minutes reverent, filled with worship and focused on God, who is Love and brought these people together in the first place.
Blessings to all those traveling, helping, and participating in weddings!
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